I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
