we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
