grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
