i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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