oh god the rape fog is back!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sorry about my life...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
