When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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