So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
