when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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