I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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