Porn is love you can see.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
