I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize