Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
