i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
