I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
