yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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