apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
