Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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