We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
