Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
