i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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