Whod you bang
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
