so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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