accomplished twins. life is a go
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
