She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
