I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
