I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
