Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
