Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
