You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
