i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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