I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Soap is not a condiment
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
