i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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