are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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