i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
