Dual....:-)
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
