I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
