We got so high we made milksteak
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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