I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
