I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
