Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize