everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
