Define "chronic" masturbator.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
