is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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