Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
