it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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