i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
