halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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