I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
