her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
