You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
