I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Acid is not a monday night drug
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
