He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She's the barista slut.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
