I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize