I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they're like a gay fantastic four
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
