You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize