At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
