she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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