gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize