I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
