I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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