Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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