Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
