You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i've created a new STD.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
