so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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