You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
