you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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