scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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