What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
