remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
