Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
