My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
