I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize