But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
