Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
