Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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