yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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